tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3351602748679973054.post2264860227870455462..comments2018-04-14T19:10:09.049-04:00Comments on J's Life: Three MonthsJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11713017174667178529noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3351602748679973054.post-25973735374226052552013-08-15T18:36:04.864-04:002013-08-15T18:36:04.864-04:00Sorry, I did the math incorrectly. It was the nig...Sorry, I did the math incorrectly. It was the night of July 29th that the incident occured. It's only been a little over two weeks.<br /><br />JJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11713017174667178529noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3351602748679973054.post-56388006639192035662013-08-15T18:31:50.449-04:002013-08-15T18:31:50.449-04:00mum:
The biggest problem I'm currently facing...mum:<br /><br />The biggest problem I'm currently facing is that I don't know if I want to fix things with Bryan. I don't know how I feel about that situation at all. I've looked up divorce laws in our state, so I know all about the process I would have to follow to file...he's trying really hard and while it was an illness that led to what he did to me, the illness was caused by his neglect of his own health. There is no way to paint the violent incident in any way that does not lay it squarely at his feet. I'll write more about that later.<br /><br />Bryan has had his share of jealousy over my friendship with Kyle, but he was over it five minutes after meeting him. Anyone with eyes could see that Kyle respected our marriage and had no interest in pursuing a married woman. It's just not how he is. The biggest problem there is that Kyle and I are so alike...we both try to please others and keep everyone from getting hurt. He didn't want to hurt me, but he also doesn't want to hurt Lora.<br /><br />I have some pretty serious decisions to make, but I've decided I'm leaving everything as is until some time has passed and I can think clearly. It's been a little over three weeks since Bryan hurt me, and I'm nowhere near okay with what happened. Until I can get my thoughts in order, I have no intention of making a decision I could regret in the future. Anything I do now could easily be irreversible. I'd hate to leave Bryan, realize it was a mistake, and end up finding out it's too late to get him back...or cutting Kyle out and wounding him in some way that would prevent a future friendship.<br /><br />I'll write to you guys as regularly as I can, keeping you updated on everything that is happening. When I start school, one of the first things I'm doing is setting up an appointment with the psychologists the school employs for student use. I'm also going to join the choir...singing is one of the few things that makes me feel normal again.<br /><br />Just knowing you guys are here is a huge help.<br /><br />JJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11713017174667178529noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3351602748679973054.post-59974405141262690372013-08-12T14:41:10.777-04:002013-08-12T14:41:10.777-04:00J -
As hard as it is for you to do, you have to cu...J -<br />As hard as it is for you to do, you have to cut Kyle off. He is not being the supportive friend you need. You said yourself, and I paraphrase, you put up with his shit because when he and bitchy finally do split up, he'll be all alone. That is not your problem, hon. You've got to take care of you. One thing I remember from all of the old posts is how you are constantly putting yourself out there for others. No one can fix you and Bryan but you and Bryan - if you want to fix it, that is. Kyle has become just a distraction, a heart-breaking one at that. He is grown. He has decided what he wants, that is perfectly clear, crystal clear. He selfishly keeps in touch with you. You are his back-up plan. YOU DON'T DESERVE THAT!<br /><br />Please, hon, rethink how much you are invested in that relationship vs how much Kyle is. <br /><br />You and Bryan need to work on helping each other. I'm a girl who would prefer to be in a guy's company over a girl's, but I think my guy would be very conflicted if I had a strong relationship with another guy as you have (had) with Kyle. <br /><br />It is time for you to be selfish and focus on you and Bryan and the healing that needs to happen for you to survive this. Kyle is not gonna be what you need no matter how much you think he's gonna "come back" to you. <br /><br />I'm sorry if I sound harsh, I really wish you were in front of me and I could give you a hug and cry with you. Blessings, friend. mummumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12692251485856666504noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3351602748679973054.post-76602671776101996412013-08-12T12:00:44.414-04:002013-08-12T12:00:44.414-04:00Sorry, darling, I didn't mean to confuse you! ...Sorry, darling, I didn't mean to confuse you! Bryan and I were separated, but we decided to try to work things out and I moved back to the apartment because it was way closer to my job. I had a less than 1 mile drive from the apartment to work, so it was easier logistically.<br /><br />The college I'm going to be attending does offer free counseling to students, so I'll probably seek that out when I start, which is two weeks from today. I will keep writing and publishing the blog entries, but I definitely need a professional to help me work through this mess.<br /><br />As for Kyle, he's a good friend, he's just dumb. Which is a shame, because he's really very intelligent...but when you're on the inside of a situation, you don't see how bad it really looks. It isn't until you get out of it that you're like "Holy crap, WTF was I thinking?" That's how I felt once Lora was gone, and I think that's probably how he'll feel once the shroud is gone. I'm just exasperated by how long it's taking and I told him so.<br /><br />In fact, I sent him that blog post. (Not the link, of course, just the text) He told me he'd read it, and that it made him feel like he was being a terrible friend. Hopefully, things start to change now. Of course, you guys will know if they do or don't!<br /><br />If you have any questions about anything that you're not entirely clear on, please don't hesitate to ask! I'll help you clear it all up!<br /><br />JJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11713017174667178529noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3351602748679973054.post-91288427402484692772013-08-11T21:35:39.433-04:002013-08-11T21:35:39.433-04:00I am sorry that you are having to go through all t...I am sorry that you are having to go through all that, it is hard to see now but i imagine you will come out stronger in the end. When you go back to school maybe you will make some new friends which will help. <br /><br />I lost my best friend a few months before my wedding last year, we were friends 13 years and told each other everything. She was the only person to know me that well. A year + later and it really doesn't bother me that much anymore even though i am alone too with a few acquaintances. I see things now that i didn't before. <br /><br />I thought in one post you said you were seperated, i caught up all at once (stumbled back here by accident, i deleted it when it was apparent you were not coming back) and then you were back there so i am a bit confused with the holes. I have never liked your husband though for some reason and always thought you could do better. <br /><br />I wish you had left up the old posts for a bit though so those of us who had read your blog faithfully before but don't remember every single detail could have refreshed as i still feel very lost but ah well such is life. <br /><br />Kyle is not that good of a friend if he can't be there for you. Sad that a girl can come between you but at the same time she is the one he chooses to be with and i don't think he gets how much it will affect him when they split and you really aren't there. <br /><br />That is a lot to go through in 2 weeks, do you have a victims services there that you do not have to pay for?? In canada we have a lot of things free compared to there so that is why i am asking, if so i would seek them out if i were you so that you have someone to talk too. You can always write too even if you dont publish the posts, just to get it all out there. http://sweetcanadian.blogspot.com/https://www.blogger.com/profile/05510662655784927869noreply@blogger.com